ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
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