just come out here and I will go home with you...
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
