Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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