guys are not supposed to queef...right?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
