He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
