ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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