dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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