how hairy? two words: wookie tits
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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