I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
this will be a night to untag.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
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