i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
