he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
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