I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize