I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
