i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
so let's talk penis.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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