This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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