Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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