with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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