Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
