new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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