Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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