you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
