Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
