so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
where are you?
Hypothermia
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
