he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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