Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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