So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
