But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
...so i touched it.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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