roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
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