Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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