my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
