I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
and you fell through a lawn chair
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
