i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
