I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
