clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
