just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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