Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
