People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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