It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
