I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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