I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
