p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
