if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
