it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
