The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
