Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Randomize
