obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
