Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
