What did we do last night that was yellow?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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