ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
