your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
