We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I am available for nakedness
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
