it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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