You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
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