yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
