the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
